i permit you to call me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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