quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
