some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
