My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You are the jesus of drinking
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
