Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Randomize
