butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
