How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
