girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
