clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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