Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
