I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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