and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
