the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
