So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
