I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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