You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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