thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
