and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
