I just pynch a tree in the face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
