oh god the rape fog is back!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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