this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
