do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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