i just had sex bonerless
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
