I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
