They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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