is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
