"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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