Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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