Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
