I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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