Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
