Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
