he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
