Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
