So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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