I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
