we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
