Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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