I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We smell like vodka and hangover
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