Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
