We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
