Kareoke will never be a sober sport
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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