The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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