Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
