I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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