do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
