Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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