THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
