Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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