Whod you bang
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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