WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize