Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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