1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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