fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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