I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i think my cat just said my name.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
