i don't like sucking hair
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
