so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
