Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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