Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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