david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
