You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
