We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
