What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
