also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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