So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
