You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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