Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
