I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
