butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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