But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
