I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
