she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I pour the whiskey from now on
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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