I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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