my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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