we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
