By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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